Growing up under apartheid wasn’t just something that happened to me—it’s something that still lives inside me. I saw how hatred and division could shatter people, tear apart families, and devastate entire communities. They sought to divide us simply because of our skin colour, inflicting a pain that words cannot fully capture.
More recently—in fact, just three years ago—my hometown, Durban was shaken by riots, leading to the worst violence seen since apartheid ended 28 years ago. Once again, that same hatred and racism appeared to resurface …
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I found myself in a heart-wrenching situation that no one should ever have to face—watching from halfway across the world as my brother, his friends, and our community fought desperately to protect our family homes from destruction.
They were out there, night after night, standing on the front lines to protect everything we held dear, safeguarding all that we cherish … while I was stuck on the other side of the globe, powerless+frustrated, unable to do anything but hope+pray for their safety.
Photo Credit: Kierran Allen Photography - PetaPixel
That sense of helplessness—knowing your loved ones are in danger and there’s nothing you can do—is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It was UTTERLY UNBEARABLE and excruciatingly agonising!!!
So, when I watched the recent anti-immigration riots and hate crimes unfold across Britain, it felt like my sense of safety and belonging was being ripped away. It was like witnessing a haunting nightmare from my past come back to life.
“This isn’t the country I thought I knew,” I said, feeling a deep sense of disillusionment.
The UK - my second home and a country that has given me so much and means so much to me - was descending into chaos and division.
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To see it unravel under the weight of hate and division was deeply painful, stirring up emotions I thought I had long since left behind. It triggered memories of leaving behind everything (!!) I knew in search of a better future. It reminded me of the sacrifices I made and the hard work I’ve poured into building a life here.
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It felt deeply personal because, like so many others, I made a choice—one of the hardest decisions of my life—to leave my home in South Africa and come to the UK. It wasn't a decision made lightly. I had a good life in South Africa, with a thriving career, an incredible support network of friends, and a family that backed me in everything I did (and still do!!).
Despite my success, I found myself trapped in a system that offered no way forward at that time; and as a ‘South African Indian’ woman, I felt confined by the limitations of that era.
Affirmative (anti-discrimination) action, intended to uplift marginalised communities, instead felt like it boxed me in.
The opportunities I needed to thrive and support my family felt increasingly out of reach. It became clear that if I wanted to advance, I would need to find a new path altogether. Thus, I made the painful choice to leave behind everything/one (that meant the absolute world to me!!) and travel thousands of miles to the UK. It wasn’t just for me—it was for my family.
Coming from a humble, hard-working background, I knew when the opportunity came, I had to take it.
I didn’t come to the UK to take advantage of anything. I came here to survive and to help my family survive. I worked my arse off—no handouts, no shortcuts.
I wasn’t here to take the piss; I was here to build a new life … from scratch! It took every ounce of courage I had to walk away from the life I knew, but at the time, I understood it was the only way to support my family through those tough times.
This isn’t just my story; it’s the story of countless immigrants who leave their homes out of necessity, not desire. For many, it’s not a choice but a last resort. When you’re living in a war zone, when every day brings new threats, when the future for your children is one of endless fear and uncertainty, the risks of leaving become worth it.
Photo Credit: Libya Coast Guard - The Daily Telegraph
I can’t help but draw parallels to a scene in Lost, a 2004 sci-fi drama (all six seasons now available on Netflix!). In the show, a father, desperate to save his son, builds a makeshift raft to escape the uncharted island they’ve been stranded on after a plane crash. No one knows where the plane went down, or even that there are survivors.
As months pass with no sign of rescue, the father, driven by sheer desperation, risks everything and embarks on a treacherous journey, taking his son with him, fully aware of the dangers that lie ahead but knowing that staying behind feels like certain death.
Like that father on the raft, immigrants know the journey ahead is perilous.
They know they may not survive the crossing. They know they may never return.
But the thought of staying behind, where hope is all but gone, feels even more unendurable!!
This scene mirrors the choices that many immigrants face when they leave their war-torn countries behind. What goes through their minds? How do they reconcile the dangers of an unknown journey with the horrors they leave behind.
It’s a choice made out of necessity, driven by a desperate need to survive.
They aren't just risking their lives; they’re fighting for them, clinging to the slimmest chance of safety for themselves and their families - a desperate hope that somewhere beyond the horizon, there’s a future worth fighting for.
I want to be clear: I’m not seeking pity. We are not seeking pity.
These life experiences and life wounds are still with me, but they’ve also become the source of my strength. Every day, they remind me of where I’ve come from and how far I’ve come. They’ve shaped me into someone resilient, someone who won’t be defined by the pain, but I’ve risen above it.
It’s a reminder that, despite everything, we weren’t destroyed—WE ENDURED!
The road ahead might be tough, but we are undeniably making strides toward a more inclusive and compassionate society—even if it sometimes feels like we’re taking giant steps backward!
I refuse to lose heart. I refuse to let these moments define us. I have always held onto hope, and I always will!!
I know that most people don’t want violence and chaos. There’s a collective longing for fairness, inclusivity, and a world where everyone can thrive. This was powerfully demonstrated when thousands of (peaceful!) anti-racism protesters gathered, overwhelmingly outnumbering the anti-immigrant agitators.
Photo Credit: (1) PA Wire / PA Images via Getty Images (2) Chris J Ratcliffe/Reuters - Al Jazeera
Real, true progress happens when we stand united, even when it feels like everything is falling apart. History has proven that the human spirit is remarkably resilient and can face any adversity.
The outpouring of support and solidarity I've witnessed during these trying times (to say the least!!) reaffirms my belief that, together, we can rise above anything!! THANK YOU!!!
Photo Credit: Neil Hall/EPA - Al Jazeera
We are capable of creating a future that is filled with hope, unity, and a sense of shared humanity. As Martin Luther King Jr. profoundly said, “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”
Photo Credit: Alberto Pezzali/AP Photo - Al Jazeera
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